Return #1: A PokeMon Sidestory

Nine Weirdos Go To Johto

This is a Sidestory. It begins in the Build of Redwall and ends in the Build of Bleach. Nothing vital to the plot happens here, but it’s a little slice of life.

“Are you guys sure she’ll be okay without us?” Cirno the Ice Fairy asked as the others dragged her off to THE DOOR THAT NEVER OPENED. Cirno had long been curious about THE DOOR, but nothing she’d done had ever so much as made it budge. Even pouting at it hadn’t worked, and pouting at things almost always worked! She’d even pestered her Liege Lady, the great and powerful EssJay (who was sometimes a Ferret Tengu, and sometimes not) about opening the door for her, but she’d steadfastly refused to even hear of it.

It was a given that, if there was a door in the place known as The Place Between (aka The Warehouse, The Place, Between, The Reality, Elsewhere, and Home), EssJay could open it. She could do everything. She controlled the universe… or at least as much of it as Cirno cared about.

“Yeah,” Kendra grunted. “She isn’t even going to be herself for the next jump, so for all practical purposes, she won’t even be anything. Won’t even remember us at all, for what it matters.”

“Are you certain you don’t want to try to get Zane to come along?” The redhead asked the lady with the ebony skin. The latter merely grunted and continued packing.

Before the coming of the Jumper, Cirno hadn’t even known people could have skin that dark… or be that grumpy. She didn’t really understand why the Jumper and the Slayer didn’t get along very well, but they didn’t and it wasn’t Cirno’s place to try and change that. All she had to do was obey EssJay… and Velma, now. EssJay had said so. 

“Velma’s in charge of this little side-trip. What she says, goes. Got it?” 

Those had been the words of Cirno’s Lord and so she’d obey as best she could. Otherwise there would be spankings. Of course, even when she did her best, there were often spankings, because she often got confused… or asked for them. If she was lucky, the spankings were even from her Lord!

“Everyone ready?” Velma asked, looking around at the six pokemon and two humans. Nine total. Cirno liked the number nine. It was a good number… and important Jumpchain-wise. Everyone nodded, although the energy level ranged from half-asleep in the case of the dragon to hyper-energetic in the case of the little fuzzy monster who liked chasing Cirno far too much for the Fairy’s peace of mind. He didn’t actually know what had been asked, he just liked agreeing to questions. And people said that Cirno was clueless! She was sooo much smarter than Ziggy! That had to count for something, right?

With everyone in agreement, Velma took the authorization card that EssJay had given her and waved it over the lockplate of THE DOOR. The card had “Return #1 Authorized. Destination: Johto, PokeLandia.” printed on one side, and the other had their names in a list. As the card passed in front of the plate, THE DOOR shimmered, then vanished from the frame, leaving only a swirling blackness beyond.

“This Return has been authorized as a special exception by Jumper EssJay,” a soft female voice said in a bored tone. “Due to drawback related circumstances, return to the Warehouse before the end of the decade will result in being placed in stasis. Is this understood?”

Velma said, “We understand.”

“Good. As this is a Return and not a Jump, you would normally not be entitled to any form of import. However, EssJay has negotiated that you be given the standard freebie package that she was given when she went here. As this consists of a Pokebag, Pokegear, Pokedex, Hat, ID, five Pokeballs and three potions, this was deemed acceptable. She has also arranged for you to have a yearly stipend of 100,000,000 Pokebucks per year per person to keep you comfortable. Do you accept?”

Velma looked around at the others, who all nodded. “We do. Will we be given local forms?”

“You will each be drop ins, but you will be able to choose any age between 10 and 17 or remain your default age. Additionally, the Banker would like to extend a special offer to you. Since this is an atypical Return, and PokeLandia is not normally host to beings of your varied abilities, we are requesting that you submit to voluntary powerdown. Each of you will be restricted to your basic body mod so that you do not disrupt the flow of history too much absent your Jumper’s oversight.”

“What about our Movesets?” Francine asked. “Most of us are Pokemon, after all.”

“What about powers that are inherent to how we are?” Kendra asked. “I’m a Slayer. I don’t know how well I’d cope being weaker and slower and…”

The voice of the void beyond THE DOOR interrupted. “The Banker guarantees that you will not notice. Your limits will seem natural to you. You will not be brought down to normal human levels anyway. The Pokemon Universe is listed as Low Street Tier Normal, meaning that  peak human feats are not unusual for common humans in this world. As for those of you who are pokemon, you will retain your ability to shift into your pokemon form, and project a copy of that form to your starter. If the copy faints, you faint as well, however.”

“You said as a Starter,” AJ said, “But all of us are level 100. And those of us who can evolve are already maximum evolutions. And RayRay and Dyna don’t even start that low! They’re legendaries.”

“Dyna’s a Mythic, not a Legendary,” Petra corrected, looking smug.

“The Banker feels this will draw too much attention,” the voice said, still sounding bored. “Your projections will level up rapidly, twice as fast as a traded pokemon would level. But it will begin at level five. In the case of Companion Designate RayRay, it will take the form of a Dratini, Bagon, or Swablu. Companion Designate Dyna will take the form of a Meditite.”

Dyna seemed unphased by that, but RayRay humphed. “All those mon are blue! I’m green!”

“EssJay anticipated that you’d say that. She points out that shiny Dragonites are dark green and shiny Salamences are bright green. Shiny Alitarias are yellow. Take your pick.” For the first time, Cirno detected a hint of smugness in that voice… but maybe she was projecting. Then again, she knew smugness. Most of the powerful people in Gensokyo were extremely smug.

“I….” RayRay began, then looked torn. “Which should I pick?”

“Go with the Salamence,” AJ suggested. “EssJay used to have one.”

“Dratini,” RayRay said. “She also gave the Salamence away.”

“Good point… though that was probably more down to not wanting to keep her in box and wanting her to have a good home than not caring. She also set Doomwaffles free, and she loved the big crazy bastard,” Francine pointed out. 

“How would you know,” Petra teased. “You were usually asleep.”

“Only when I was an Abra!” the Alakazam protested. “We have to sleep a lot when we’re that size!”

“People!” Velma snapped. “Argue later.” She turned back to the door. “Surely you’re not going to give Ziggy a human form?”

“Negative. We are instructed to allow the Zig to do as Zig will,” the voice said. “The three of you who are not Pokemon are to be given your choice of any non mythic or legendary starting pokemon, but the Banker has ruled that these mon will be pets, not Companions, so cautions against choosing sophont pokemon. You will also not be allowed to capture any legendaries or mythics.”

Cirno watched as the two others talked between them. Both of them had played the rebuild of the Pokemon games that EssJay had programmed using her Pokedex and memory of the games. Cirno hadn’t… keeping track of all the types and what they were strong and weak against had seemed like far too much work. She’d much prefered the shooty games.

Facing the door, she demanded “I want an Ice Fairy!”

“There are no Ice Fairy type pokemon in Johto,” the voice said.

For a moment, Cirno was about to pout… but then she realized something. She’d heard that kind of statement before. Like when she asked for a Cookie and EssJay said “There are no more Chocolate Chip Cookies.” That didn’t mean there were no more cookies, it meant there were no more chocolate chip cookies. Cirno was a genius. She knew things like this. “Then I want an Ice Fairy type pokermom from a place where there are Ice Fairy type pokermoms,” she demanded, stomping her foot petulantly and glaring at the door.

“Confirmed,” the voice said.

“I want a dog… so I’m going with Growlithe,” Velma said, referring to the Fire Dogs that looked super fluffy but secretly scared Cirno. She wondered if Velma was plotting against her and shivered.

“I’ll go with the Chikorita,” Kendra said. “They’re plant type and can learn Solar Beam. Very useful against vampires.”

Cirno giggled. “There aren’t any vampires in Pokeplace! And it wouldn’t bug the vampires in Gensokyo much!”

“Or Twilight Vamps,” Velma pointed out.

“Or Dracula,” AJ added.

“Or World of Darkness Kindred with high enough Potence,” Francine said, grinning.

“Yes. Well, we haven’t been to the World of Darkness yet,” Kendra snapped, “and if and when we do, it will be Fortitude that grants resistance to sunlight.” Francine blushed at being corrected.

“Okay, enough,” Velma said, “Are there any other provisios? Any other terms of service? Can we get out of here?” A moment later, they were falling into darkness… and then they were standing in the middle of a lakeside promenade, watching as the sun rose near a massive white mountain. Velma nodded. “Very appropriate.”

“What is?” Cirno asked, still not certain she understood what ‘appropriate’ meant after all these years. People usually said it when they were pleased with the situation, but neve really explained what the word actually meant. She’d looked it up, but the dictionary was clearly lying, because it claimed that the word meant fitting or suitable, and almost never was anyone using ‘appropriate’ to talk about clothing, let alone suits.

“That’s Mt. Silver,” Velma said. “It has to be. That’s the Pagoda Bell Tower of Ecruteak city.”

And so it was.


“So? Did you have fun?” EssJay asked the Ice Fairy who’d spent the last hour and twenty minutes telling her all about the food they’d eaten and the battles they’d fought in and all the times she’d helped some strangers… who had mysteriously turned out to be Team Rocket in disguise.

Cirno nodded happily, munching on a plate of cookies. “Yuh! And I made a bunch of new friends! And… and… I got to keep some of them.” She licked her fingers clean of cookie crumbs, then pulled out her pokeballs and summoned the contents one by one. “This is my Ninetales, his name is Hilbert.” She seemed exceptionally proud of herself for coming up with such a clever name as the blue-white fox with, yes, nine tails yawned hugely, then belched frost.

“Since when are Ninetales Ice type?” EssJay asked.

“He’s from Alola!” the ice fairy explained. “That’s a tropical region over near Unova!”

EssJay blinked… “Wait… what? The PokeLandian counterpart of Hawaii has an arctic fox… okay… sure… that makes bugger all sense. Must be from a Generation later than six. I guess that’s one way of expanding the line rather than coming up with all new designs. Reskin old designs with new types. A tenth of the work for ninety percent of the value.” She held out her hand to the fox and said, “Niiiinnnetaaaaales.”

The blue fox cocked his head to the side, tongue lolling out, then yipped and fluffed his tails. “Niine! Ninenine! Taaaaaales!”

Cirno looked back and forth between her Lady and her pet. “Are you speaking Hilbertese?”

“Yes dear,” the Jumper said. “Just asking Hilbert if you were a good trainer. He says you are.”

The fairy grinned hugely, then schooled her expression. “Course I am! I’m the best!”

A snort came from the dark skinned woman across the room chatting with the asian man who sometimes was a Lucario and was the only other Pokelinguist in the company. “Best, huh? Yuh nah tell nah lies now.”

Cirno sighed. “Okaaay… well… I might not have been the best… third best is good though, right?”

EssJay ruffled the small fairy’s hair, knowing that Cirno was trying to imply that she was the third best in the entire world… when she meant that she’d been third best out of the trio of non-pokemon who’d gone to PokeLandia. “Yes. it’s good that your pokemon like you. Much more important than being the best. All the best are those whose pokemon love them.”

“Yaaaay… can I introduce the others then?” 

“Of course,” the lady said, scratching the Ninetales behind the ears. Hilbert was a simple creature, fundamentally lazy and so his trainer’s personality suited him just fine. Unlike in the games, a pokemon could learn a great many more moves than just four, and each drained endurance from a common pool… and normally that fact would be enough to get a rough idea of how powerful a pokemon was, simply by checking the most powerful ability they had. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t work on Hilbert. Not only was he a subspecies EssJay had no knowledge of, but even were he a normal Ninetails… they gained no moves by leveling up, making the process impossible.

One by one, Cirno introduced the others: Flobit the Lapras (somewhere between Level 52 and 58 from the fact that he knew Dragon Pulse but not Blizzard), Goober the Delibird (not yet level twenty-five since he didn’t know Drill Peck, the only move the fairly useless Ice Flying type learned from leveling), Eggsy the Blissey (she was between level thirty-eight (Heal Pulse) and forty-two (Egg Bomb), Thurstan the Donphan (who, despite the name was female, and who was at least level fifty, since she knew Giga Impact, the last level ability a Donphan gained), and Jones the Heracross, who didn’t even know Feint, a move that his species learned at level seven. 

EssJay tried not to be judgemental. So what if Cirno had had the shiny purple insect that was one of the best attackers in the Pokeverse for nearly six years and had trained him as a beetle racer… what the aggressive bug thought about his largely pacific mistress the Jumper carefully did not relate. There would be plenty of time for that later.

“Thank you for introducing me to your new friend,” EssJay said, “Now why don’t you introduce them to the others while I talk to Velma, okay?”

Cirno hopped out of her Lord’s lap, gave her a kiss on the cheek, then called upon her clutch of woefully trained pokemon to follow her ‘cause she knew the way! 

“Got lost in her own museum,” the Jumper muttered. 

“She’s a handful, but she’s cute,” Velma said, offering the woman who’d turned her entire existence on its head a cup of chai. “And I do have to admit that it was fun watching her utterly baffle Team Rocket… and most trainers, with just how… weird her strategies were. She kept forgetting which Pokemon she was using and ordering them to use moves they didn’t know… or that don’t exist. Flobit sometimes would at least try to do something. Thurston just used whatever attack seemed the most straightforward all the time… and Hilbert apparently think’s he’s a Snorlax. I thought you had to be joking about just how big and cute those things are… you undersold them if anything.”

“I am both slightly disappointed and extremely pleased you three didn’t return with one,” the Jumper said. “Now… before you introduce me to your own passel of pokemon… explain why I now have an infestation of bidoofs, bibarrels, sentrets, furrets, skitties, and what I can only describe as a dunsparce wearing a mongoose skin and a Donald Trump wig?”

“That’s a Gumshoos… evolved version of a Yungoos… who is Donald Trump?” Velma asked.

“Sleazy / shady businessman from my origin world. Famous for having a casino in Atlantic City that lost money and for trying to sell steaks in an electronic’s store,” EssJay explained, “No one important, but famous for having a silly yellow hairpiece. But that doesn’t explain why the swarm.”

“They’re his… ummm… kids.”

“Oh! Oh dear… he… well… good for him!”

“Actually, this is only like… a sixtieth of the… you do have some idea just how big the Field Group is, right?” Velma commented. “The Zig was… he got extremely busy… a lot.”

“Of course he did,” EssJay groaned. The Field Group was the single largest group of interbreedable Pokemon, seeing as how it contained almost all the Pokemon based on mammals… all the way from the extremely tiny Diglett to the absolutely massive Wailord. It had, in fact, been something of a meme back in Origin before she left: Hot Wailord on Skitty Action. Or more like, with Ziggy around… mildly embarrassing weasel-thing on anything that moved action… and possibly things that didn’t move. “Gumshoos huh? Weird. Not as cute as most pokemon. Must have gotten a new artist. So? You going to tell me about your adventures?”

Velma chuckled, but nodded, sipping her chai. “I wouldn’t call them adventures. We travelled around, relaxed, got some counselling, tried our hand at training. I don’t think I’ve really got the temperament to be the best. My Mon are all more aggressive than I am… though they’re not particularly aggressive by Pokemon standards. I didn’t like seeing them getting hurt, and hurting others. I guess I’m a big softy.”

EssJay gave the other woman a pat on the hand. “Nothing wrong with that. How did you do, Badgewise?”

“Oh… ummm… seven badges,” the redhead said, looking embarrassed.

“That’s not terrible,” EssJay replied. “Almost there. I’ll give you some help if you like.”

Velma groaned, leaning her head back and gazing ceiling-ward. She was clearly embarrassed. “Not… not seven badges in Johto… seven total. Three from Johto, two from Kanto, and two from the Sevii Islands.”

EssJay blinked. “Wait… the Sevii Islands don’t have their own league… since when do they have gyms?”

“The Orange League is trying to expand to full league status,” Velma explained. “They added two gyms in the Sevii Islands and one in the Decolore Islands.” She pulled a pamphlet out of her bag and handed it over. “It’s not going so well… too sparse of population, too spread out… but they’re making a go of it.”

EssJay, who’d only been aware of the existence of the Orange Archipelago and its League or the Decolore Islands in that vague way that someone with a perfect memory who’s glanced at a map of the Pacific is aware of the existence of Tuvalu or Vanuatu, read through flier and grunted. The Orange League looked like the Cuban Baseball League… lots of spirit, lots of gumption, even some really decent players potentially… but essentially no funding in facilities that were, to be honest, a bit dated.

“Oh. Well… winning literally isn’t everything. Having fun is the most important thing. Did you at least manage that?” EssJay asked.

“Oh sure. We kept running into these three kids… well, I say kids, but they were teenagers and so were we, at least at the beginning. Cirno started at ten, I was fifteen, and Kendra was seventeen at the start. Ethan, Kris, and Kotone were fourteen,” Velma said, showing pictures of the trio.

“Ah. I know them,” EssJay commented. “Well, not know. I recognize them, though I’ve seen only anime art. Protagonists from generation two games. Never actually paid attention to their names. Didn’t play Crystal, just Silver. Had Heart Gold, but never got to play it before this grand adventure started. Red, Silver, Ruby, Sapphire, LeafGreen, Colosseum, Pearl, XD, Platinum, Black, and X. Owned more of them, but freetime was a myth. Nice kids?”

“Yeah. Very nice,” Velma agreed. “Kotone’s lucky you weren’t there. You’d have tried to steal her hat.”

“It is a very nice hat,” EssJay agreed.

“Anyway, Kris was obsessed with documenting as many Pokemon as possible, Ethan wanted to be the champ, and Kotone wanted to defeat Team Rocket and become an Officer Jenny when she grew up. Cirno kept trying to convince her that Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy were actually evolutions of Ditto.”

EssJay facepalmed. “I told her that as a joke. She didn’t actually believe that, did she?”

With a totally straight face, Velma said, “She’s a very stable genius, our Cirno. But if you think that’s hilarious, Kendra is convinced that they’re some kind of infectious vector like vampires, since the Jenny, Joy, George, and Porter families all look mostly identical… clearly something weird is up… but I managed to keep her from declaring a crusade against them.”

“Good on yah. So, did you meet up with the PokeProfessor?”

“Which one? Sam Oak or Orme Utsugi?”

“Utsugi? That’s the Japanese name for Deutzia Hydrangeas.” EssJay blanked, then aahed. “Must be his japanese name. I forgot that the Japanese professors are named for flowers… Oak is…. Hmmm… Orchid I think. Orme is the french for Elm… Elm Deutzia. Sure. My professor back in Hoenn was Odamaki Birch… Odamaki is a columbine flower. Anyway… I’d always wanted to meet professor Oak. He seemed like a real whackadoo.”

“He was nice… distracted but okay,” Velma said. “His wife, Yukina… Red’s mom, is a sweetheart.”

“Wait… what? Red’s mom has a name? Red’s mom is married to Professor Oak? Is Oak Red’s last name… Red Oak… aahahaha… oh dear.”

“Yeah… actually, his name is Satoshi, but there are two boys named Satoshi in their town, so one’s nicknamed Red and the other…” Velma giggled.

“Is Ash. Of course there are… what you get when you mix game and anime canons,” EssJay agreed. “Okay… well, as long as you had fun. Want to do the introductions?”

What followed was much facepalming on the Jumper’s part as her girlfriend introduced her to Daphne the Arcanine, Whooby the Noctowl, and Shaggy the Ampharos (the only male among Velma’s clutch). At least the other three (Ragna the Gligar, Thena the Ariados, and Kuutar the Sneasel) had names that weren’t Fred or any reference to said Yuppy Prince.

“You named a dog after Daphne?” EssJay asked, uncertain if she should be aghast or amused.

“She’s very nice to snuggle with, but not really right to do anything naughty with,” Velma said, smirking.

“That’s… soo… wrong…” EssJay commented, wincing a little. “And Whooby?”

“Whooby-dooby-doooo!” Velma hooted. “It seemed like a funny joke… and Sheep-boy really is Shaggy. Scared of ghosts, inordinately fond of sandwiches, dense mop of hair.”

“If you say so. And Kuutar… the Finnish goddess of the Moon?”

“She likes using taunt,” Velma half explained.

“And not a Weavile because you couldn’t find a razor claw?”

“Oh. I have one… Kuutar thinks it’s funny to throw it at Kendra’s Scizor, Vex. I guess she’s not ready to grow up yet. I couldn’t find the Razor Fang for Ragna though.”

“That’s okay. I have one if you need it.”

“Eh. We’ll see. Evolution isn’t mandatory.”

“Says you,” EssJay said. “But I know what you meant.”


“So?” The Jumper asked. “You want to show off your new friends?”

Kendra Young ground her teeth, then nodded. Had to be civil. Be a good little dark girl for the boss. Couldn’t risk being sent home. That world was a nightmare. Better to be a second class Companion than dead meat. She’d thought she was ready to be a Slayer… thought she was strong. Then Angelus had killed her without effort. She’d still be dead but for the Jumper… she owed her her life… her happiness too. She was happy. Zane was a duffus, but he was her duffus… when the Jumper wasn’t monopolizing him.

Still, try as she might, she couldn’t bring herself to actually like the smug little know it all. That superior attitude, that “I know what’s best for everyone” vibe she gave off… oh how it grated. And a decade ago, when she’d messed up spectacularly… Kendra couldn’t even rub her face in it. One did not gloat over the bodies of slain children. 

So they’d gone their separate ways for a while… and Kendra had found that she missed the little brat. It was some Stolkholm shit, clearly. If only there were some actual evidence of the Jumper being an actual racist that Kendra could point to, something overt… but she was painfully egalitarian in her treatment of others. If she liked you, she liked you. If she trusted you, she trusted you. If she hated you, she hated you. Ethnicity, Race, Species be damned.

Part of Kendra wondered if it was all in her own head. Had EssJay treated her differently? Or was she just too much like the Watchers who’d trained the Slayers, superior in their knowledge and authority. Was Kendra herself bothered by the Jumper’s lifestyle? That was part of it, no matter how non-judgemental she tried to be. It wasn’t natural to have so many lovers. Everyone in the group had flings from time to time; relationships outside the group were not discouraged and without the risk of disease or pregnancy, what did it matter?

Of course, such flings were temporary. Everyone in the group knew that. Get tied down and you might get left behind. So those relationships, even friendships, were always hemmed in by a looming separation. But relationships inside the group were different. Those were long term… for some. Not Petra, who was even more laissez-faire about her sleeping arrangements than EssJay… but the Bahs were mostly an item, Francine and AJ were all but formally bonded, and Uriel and Bao were practically an old married couple at this point… 

Then there was EssJay, who practically had a harem… and the relationships between those inside the harem were just… weird as well. The fact that the Hibikis were a pair bothered Kendra immensely, and the idea of them sharing the Jumper was just… unsettling. The power dynamics between Cirno, Velma, and EssJay was enough to make Kendra blush whenever it was thrust in her face… which was all too often. She’d have said something… but she knew that she was the odd one out. Demanding that others adhere to your own social mores only worked when one was part of the majority. Asking that others not engage in Public Displays of Affection when you were the only one who found it icky was just being a prude… and Kendra Young was no prude… well… okay, she was a bit of one… but she wasn’t going to let everyone else know that.

“Sure,” she said, plucking the first ball off her belt. “We stored them in their balls just in case there was any trouble in the crossing. Have to have balls for pokecenters, right?” 

Essjay nodded. “I understand. Rules are rules. Also safer to carry them in certain circumstances.”

“This is Ganja Mampie,” Kendra said, calling the half-flower, half-brontosaurus Meganium out of her ball. “She be sassy an’ sweet,” she explained, voice dropping into the Patwah of her island heritage.

EssJay chuckled. “Chubby Lady Mary Jane?” she asked as she patted the curious grass-type. “Tell me that you didn’t name them all after drugs… no, wait… Velma said you have a Scizor named “Vex”?”

Kendra nodded, calling the red steel insect out of her ball. “Yah, she be… what you call it… Upsetting?”

“Vexing. Yeah,” the Jumper agreed, eyeing the rather tall bug. “Intimidating.”

“Not good at thinking things through though,” Kendra sighed. “She’s like Cirno’s Donphan… not quite the same, but both are impulsive.” Next she pulled out a Kabutops, somewhat shorter bug that was probably the ancient ancestor of the Scizor’s prevolution, the Scyther, at least judging by the scythe-like arms. “This be Babylon.”

“You named your Kabuto after patwa slang for policeman?” EssJay giggled, shaking one of the Kabutops’s offered scythe arms like a handshake. “Why?”

“He be dead serious an be lookin’ like a helmet, ay?” Kendra said, shrugging. It wasn’t really a question. “Named me Xatu Wicked because she be wise and don’t take no nonsense.” she went on. “And me Mismagius Pasa Pasa.” As she named the duo, she summoned them.

EssJay regarded the psychic Nazca parrot and the trickster ghost, then nodded. Wicked was patwa for excellent and wise in the mystic arts, while Pasa Pasa was a big ol’ mix up, a decent name for a prankster like a Mismagius. “That’s five… what’s in the last?”

“Oh… that be Backra…” Kendra said. “Been tryin’ t’ level her up, but dem Pupitar ain’t so easy a ting ta do, nay?”

“Bakra… I… I don’t know that term,” EssJay said. Living in Jamaica for five years had given her a decent understanding of the local lingo, but an outsider never heard all of it.

“A backra be,” Kendra flushed. She didn’t want to tell the Jumper that she’d named the soon to be Tyranitar after her. “A backra be a masta… a slave masta, ay?”

“Oh… ah… a Tyrant. A slave driver?”


“I’d comment… but I named my seaserpent Doomwaffles, so I’m not one to talk,” EssJay said. “Did you have fun?”

“Did betta than miss thing,” Kendra said. “Got myself eleven badges, seven of them from dem Johto gyms.”

“Excellent. And did you stop Team Rocket?”

“Dem foo-foo? Dey always back for mo,” Kendra said, grumbling. Team Rocket was a like an itch; you could scratch it, but it just kept coming back. Then again… that pretty much described the Jumper too.

This is a Sidestory. To return to Redwall click HERE and to move on to Bleach click HERE. I tried to do my best Jamaican. If you’re Jamaican, please help.

Kendra’s Pokemon

  • ‘Ganja Mampie’ the Meganium (Sassy Female, Level 42) 
  • ‘Babylon’ the Kabutops (Serious Male, Level 44) (Police man)
  • ‘Wicked’ the Xatu (Quiet Female, Level 31) (Excellent)
  • ‘Vex’ the Scizor (Rash Female, Level 18) (Upset)
  • ‘Backra’ the Pupitar (Bold Female, Level 34) (Slave Driver)
  • ‘Pasa Pasa’ the Mismagius (Naughty Female, Level 19) (Mix Up)

Cirno’s Pokemon

  • ‘Hilbert’ the Alolan Ninetales (Lax Male, Level 71) 
  • ‘Flobit’ the Lapras (Quirky Male, Level 54) 
  • ‘Goober’ the Delibird (Bashful Male, Level 22) 
  • ‘Eggsy’ the Blissey (Gentle Female, Level 41) 
  • ‘Thurston’ the Donphan (Hasty Female, Level 88) 
  • ‘Jones’ the Heracross (Hardy Male, Level 3) 

Velma’s Pokemon

  • ‘Daphne’ the Arcanine (Adamant Female, Level 43) 
  • ‘Whooby’  the Noctowl (Bashful Female, Level 43) 
  • ‘Shaggy’ the Ampharos (Timid Male, Level 32) 
  • ‘Ragna’ the Gligar (Jolly Female, Level 39) 
  • ‘Thena’ the Ariados (Serious Female, Level 32) 
  • ‘Kuutar’ the Sneasel (Impish Female, Level 21) 

4 thoughts on “Return #1: A PokeMon Sidestory

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